The simpsons season 30 episode 2
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Ladies and gentlemen, your Springfield Neutrinos!
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It's that time again! Opening day of peewee football! And everybody's headed down to Child Soldier Field to catch all the action! It all comes down to this, the first game of the year, perfect season on the line, and drunks are being rolled off the field. Homer's Ambition: Well, then why the hell don't you do something about it?! Homer: Huh? Who said that?! Homer's Ambition: Me! Homer: Who are you? Homer's Ambition: I'm your ambition! Homer: How come I never met you before? Homer's Ambition: I've been locked up for 30 years by Apathy and Alcoholism! There Will Be Buds Narrator: Well, it's the first Saturday in September, and that means one thing in Springfield. Homer: I was in line for that job and I lost it to someone who barely speaks English! It's humidifying. Krusty the Clown: Hey hey, kids! Krusty won't be needing the spit bucket!īart: Mmm! They are good! Lisa: How did you get them so fast? Bart: I'm a Krusty Prime member. "Clown eats snack"? Uh-oh, this could get ugly. Trust but Clarify Krusty the Clown: Hey hey! What time is it, kids? Kids: Product tie-in time! Krusty the Clown: That's right! I'm introducing a new line of candy so delicious that the Krusty Corporation board of directors will stop threatening to oust me! Presenting: Krustaceans! They look like shrimp, they taste like candy, and they're organic! Uh. Milhouse: Why did Mom "DOUBLE WRAP"?!?!?!? Frank Grimes: (narrating) Chief Clancy Wiggum arrests Lisa and Lisa is arrested for the murder. In Hell, they make you watch them all in a row. Sideshow Bob: AHow do you do, Children? I'm Frank Grimes. Homer: What? Sideshow Bob: So we decided to form this furious four! Frank Grimes: Bob, seriously man, one suggestion? Shut up! I mean, the baby is already asleep. Sideshow Bob: To the point, we are evil geniuses who, somehow, lost every battle we've had with Homer Simpson. Hated you! Died from my hatred of you!! Homer: Good old Grimey. Frigging doorknobs Boston fan 1: Automatic! Treehouse of Horror XXVII The Simpsons: Aahh!!! Sideshow Bob! Aahh!!! One of you guys! Marge, Bart and Lisa: Frank Grimes? Homer: Who? Frank Grimes: I'm the guy who hated you. I only wish I could be as jealous as you! Boston fan 1: Geez, Jay, this place has got more knobs than a hardware store. Lenny: Go kiss a Kennedy, you rule-breaking cranberry squeezers! Boston fan 2: We don't cheat! We won 12 division titles in ten years, fair and square! Boston fan 1: You dorks are just jealous of all our championship rings! Homer: You're the one who's jealous. Lenny: The only Boston wins is because they cheat! Listening in our teams' headsets, fattening our cheerleaders, you know, for three games last year, Boston used a volleyball painted brown! Boston fan 1: That was never proven, you Springfield screw-job. Homer: Everything after the tornado was a dream. You were saying? The Town Marge: I know you're in a hurry to go to the bar to watch football, but first, I want you to put the kids to bed. Nussbaum: Yeah all right, I'm afraid our 50 minutes are almost up. Burns: Anger issues? Anger issues?! Anger issues? Anger issues?! Dr. Nussbaum: I believe last week we were discussing your anger issues. Burns: Ooh! Can I buy it as a gift? Doctor 3: No!ĭr. Doctor 1: Hip joints! Who wants a hip joint? Doctor 2: Eyeballs! Can't see without your eyeballs! Doctor 3: Euthanasia! Sweet, sweet euthanasia! Mr. Burns: Hush! No one must know I'm not in perfect mental health. Homer: Ooh, admitting failure! Friends and Family Smithers: Come on, sir.
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Kent Brockman: In response to the outcry, Lard Lad's parent company, Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts, has issued the following statement: "We are rebranding Lard Lad with an updated statue." Homer: Ooh, rebranding! Lisa: That just means admitting failure, Dad. What was the name of the statue again? Eh, ah, let me think. Be like that time that Rodin statue got stolen. Looks like we better file a report with the Bureau of Missing Statues. Milhouse: And that's where Lard Lad used to be! staring up at the sky in terror? Homer: Do you see it, Lisa? There's. Monty Burns' Fleeing Circus Marge: What a beautiful day for a family stroll! Apu: Tell that to my aching back! Bart: It's not a family stroll! Homer forgot where he parked his car last night and now we have to find it! Marge: What a beautiful day to be in denial! Lisa: Yeah, Bart, who cares? The sun is shining, birds are singing, people.